On Being the Valentine Grinch

‘Tis the time of the year when Hallmark Greeting Cards, flower shops, restos and chocolate companies conspire to extort a huge sum of money from those who were struck by the ever mighty Cupid. ‘Tis the time of the year when you’d be blinded by all the shades of pinks and reds tinting those heart-shaped stuff, anywhere & everywhere you go. And ‘tis the time of the year when the Valentine ‘grinch’ comes out from his/her closet to spread hate and disdain toward what’s supposedly a feast for St. Valentine.

What about the Valentine GRINCH? Putting things forward, a Valentine ‘grinch’ can either be any of these:

1.) Somebody whose blood curdles whenever he/she sees a couple in an oblivious state of lovey-dovey cum PDA. In fact, he/she considers puking while at the same time endlessly cursing that ‘couple’ in his/her mind.

2.) Somebody who thinks that this day becomes a money-making activity for businesses, say ‘commercialization’. From expensive stuff toys, cards with silly messages, chocolates of different variety, it all boils down to one thing----VALENTINE EXPENSES.

3.) Somebody who believes that V-Day sets standards for everyone else to follow like everyone should wear red, everyone should listen to cheesy I-Love-You songs, every guy should offer his girl grand gestures, & many more to boot.

4.) Somebody, whose heart has been crushed & damaged on the very same day of February 14 because he/she was dumped, cheated and lied to by his/her –ex. And by the end of the day, he/she is back to being UNATTACHED.

5.) Somebody who’s ATTACHED but was left unsatisfied on how his/her day turned out to be what you can call as ‘not-so-special’.

6.) Somebody who doesn’t have the concept of Valentine’s Day in his/her mind because he/she has been SINGLE in his/her entire being. That way, you were reminded that the season wouldn’t be justified if you don’t have anybody to share it with.

7.) Somebody who is an old angry spinster or just a trying hard one who thinks he/she can’t set free from the curse of ‘singlehood’. Nyaaay.

8.) Somebody who’s already married with the thought of creating the perfect scenario in his/her mind, only to find out it’ll never be like it once was.

9.) Somebody who thinks he/she is better off-alone with matching ‘the-hell-I-care-with-what’s-happening-in-the-world’ attitude.

10.) Lastly, somebody who just irrationally hates and is allergic towards his/her own definition of LOVE as a sickening sappy circumstance.

So, what sort of Grinch are you? *grins*

If you’re more than one of the above, then you’re almost a hopeless case. You need an immediate knock on the head to shake off the cynic in you. Why hate Valentine’s Day and loathe those who celebrate it just because you have so much bitterness inside? I mean, come on, you can erase that frown off your face and drop your raised eyebrow. Just be happy for those couples as they give a little more love in the world. It’s a whole lot better than harboring resentment in your heart. Chances are, you just might end up being a spinster yourself. (That is, if you’re not one yet.) Or worse, a larger than life, scowling Grinch. (Uh-oh. I’d never dream of it if I were you.) Well pal, I leave it to you.

P.S. This post is a collaboration between moi & my roommate Michelle Rendaje. She just wrapped up my post. (Yes, she wrote the last paragraph/conclusion! Wee.) Thanks Mitch! You were of no doubt an awesome writer! <3

HAPPY VALENTINES! :)

Unrequited Love: Biktima Ka Rin Ba?

Unrequited love? Oo, biktima ako nun.  At marahil ikaw na nagbabasa ngayon ay naging biktima rin, kasalukuyang binibiktima o magiging biktima pa. Dalawampung taon ng nakatungtong ang aking maliliit na paa ala lotus feet rito sa mundo at ‘di ko ikinakailang maraming beses na rin akong nag-ukol ng pagtingin sa iba’t-ibang uri ng lalake. Ayun, may straight, may binabae, may sporty, may mukhang kulugo, yung isa may topak, at merong ding may B.O. Ewan ko nga ba kung totoo ‘yung lahat ng sinabi ko basta ang alam ko lang  sakto yung first three. Oo na, ang labo ko ngang kausap. Kaya, kung di mo masikmura ang mga pinagsusulat ko ay hala, gorabels ka na at mag-flylalu to the edge of glory! Baboosh at huwag ng bumalik pa nang di ko ma-jombags ang nguso mo.

Hep! Alrighty, tama na ang mga salitang bading. Masyado na akong nagiging trying hard at ayoko ng ganun.

    So, eto ang kuwento ko. Apat na taon na akong single at ‘di ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko ng ipinukol sa ‘king sarili ang simpleng tanong na “BAKIT?” Ang pangit-pangit ko na ba talaga? Nakakadiri ba talaga ang sandamakmak kong tagyawat sa mukha? May an-an, buni, fungi o hadhad ba ako na hindi man lang ako aware? O kaya naman, mukha ba akong nangangalmot kaya walang lumalapit sa ‘kin? Oh c’mon, TELL ME!

   Ganito kasi ‘yun, di ba binanggit ko ang UNREQUITED LOVE kanina na siya nga namang pinkapunto ko sa entry kong ito? Sa totoo lang, sa apat na taon ko rito sa UPV, sa iisang tao lang naman ako nakaramdam ng ganito. Alam mo ‘yung pakiramdam na gustung-gusto mo siya. Kulang na lang gumawa ka ng first move nang ikaw ay mapansin. Hindi naman kasi ako liberated o ‘di kaya’y nasobrahan sa women empowerment. Tulad ng utot, gusto ko na talagang ilabas at iputok ito ngunit pinipigilan ko naman ang sarili ko kasi ayoko rin namang mapahiya. Ayoko lang talagang maunang magtapat. Period.

Binabaling ko rin naman ang aking atensyon sa ibang tao, pa-crush2x sa iba. Yun nga lang, wala pa ring silbi. Kung itsura man lang, hindi talaga siya gwapo. Kung brains naman, hindi rin naman siya ganoon katalino. Kung attitude naman, siya ang epitome ng ‘maginoo pero medyo bastos’. Mantakin mo ‘yun, out-of-the-blue nawala lahat ng standards ko? Sino pa bang sisisihin ko kundi ang hinayupak na lalaking yun! To be honest, mas minahal ko pa siya kumpara sa –ex ko. Anong klaseng crush ba ‘to? Did I mention the word ‘minahal’? Ayun, inamin ko na!

Sa totoo lang, pilit ko rin naman siyang kinalimutan. Binura ko na nga ang number niya. (At hindi ko minemorya yun. Duh. Huwag mag-expect.) Halos i-unfriend ko na nga siya sa FB ngunit huwag na lang baka naman mahalata niyang iniiwasan ko siya. (Siya pa naman ang nag-add.) Pero ang pinakanakakabaliw sa lahat ay yung mga pagkakataon na nagkakandaupang-palad kayo sa iba’t-ibang parte ng UPV. ‘Di ko maiwasang ‘di tumingin ng diretso sa kanya. Nahihirapan din akong magsabi ng ‘hi’ o ‘hello’ at kung may choice ako eh ayaw ko rin naman unless mauna siya. Sabi ko nga, ayokong mahalata nya ang ‘uneasiness’ ko towards him. Pero alam mo yun, ginagawa ko naman ‘to upang tuluyan na siyang mawaglit sa aking isipan. (WTF!!!)

Ewan ko rin, parang iniiwasan na rin nya ako. Buwan na yata ang nakalipas mula nang mag-text siya. Sa tuwing nagkakasalubong kami, hindi na rin siya namamansin, ni palitan ng ngiti wala na rin. Mas mabuti na rin siguro yung ganito, pa-unti2x nang sa huli’y matatanggap ko na rin na wala na talaga siguro akong pag-asa sa kanya. (Parang lalake naman ako kung magsalita. Akala mo kung sinong nililigawan.) Unti-unti na rin akong nakaka-move on pero di ko parin mapigilan ang aking sarili na umasa. Sa ngayon, kapag may nakikita akong babae na kasama niya, di ko maiwasang mag-isip ng masama. Parang kinakain ako ng paranoia. Pero ‘di ba wala naman akong karapatan? Wala naman akong karapatang makaramdam ng kahit kapipiranggot lamang na selos. But in the long run, masakit pa rin. Ika nga, tagos!

Malapit na akong grumadweyt! Bilang na ang mga oras na makikita ko siya at bilang na rin ang mga oras upang mailabas ko ang aking mga hinanakit sa kanya. Ang tanging benepisyong makukuha ko kung di ko na siya makikita ay tuluyan ko na rin sigurong makakalimutan ang aking nararamdaman. Kung saa’t-saan, ‘dun din iyon patutungo. Siguro, ang tanging magagawa ko lang ngayon ay umani ng ng sapat na courage upang maibuhos ko ang lahat pagdating ng tamang panahon. At sa panahong iyon, zero na talaga siguro ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Marahil, tatawanan ko na lang ang aking nagawang kabaliwan at kababawan. (Takte! Ang drama ko lang. MMK ang peg?)

Sa ngayon, mas mabuti na sigurong alagaan ko ang PRIDE ko. Ito lang naman ang lagi kong kasangga sa buhay at ito lang din naman ang natatanging bagay na kaya kong ipagmalaki at ipagkalandakan sa mundo. Pero syempre, sumagi din naman sa isipan ko ang posibilidad na kahit konti lang, baka may nararamdaman din naman siya para sa akin. Wuuuu! Malabo naman talaga sigurong mangyari iyon.

UNREQUITED LOVE nga naman, masyadong one-sided. At heto naman ako, hindi pa rin nagsasawa sa mga pambibiktimang ginagawa niya. Sige-sige pa rin kahit magkanda-ubos2x na ang dugo dahil sa walang humpay na pananaksak ng lecheng unrequited love na ‘yan.

Tama na siguro ‘to. Ayoko nang maging biktima. Talagang ayoko na. *sabay birit ng Kung Ako Na Lang Sana ni Bituin Escalante*

Going Solo VS. Going Double

Love is a battlefield in which one should be equipped in order to survive. Survival can be realized through either self-sufficiency or dependence towards another person. That's why we're often left to a common question: Is it better to ride a solo flight or to go on a journey with 'the one'?

SINGLE VS. IN A RELATIONSHIP --- truth to be told, one can endure the war either way. I mean, being in whichever sides of the coin can be pretty awesome! Apparently, these relationship statuses turned out to be major hypes, thanks to Facebook. Like everyone's been making a big deal whenever certain individuals on their friends' list change their statuses, may it be a sham or not.

Regardless on what personal stories are behind those words, one should know why each of them has its own set of perks. So. read ahead and know the benefits you can dig up no matter what your current status is. =)

ON BEING SINGLE...

Distractions are far-removed from your system.

• With no distractions on hand, you could now focus on the more important things in life. You'll know how to prioritize! That is for young people, their focal point would be their education and for the adults, that'd be their jobs. Being single motivates you to take higher strides by looking at your other commitments where you can now devote and plunge yourself into without having your mind being sidetracked by the thoughts of your other-half.

Your time is completely your own.

• There's no formula for a perfect relationship but sure there's a formula for having a good one. In order to obtain positive results, both partners should invest lots of time and efforts. By that you'll have lesser or worse, no time for yourself. Now, where does "self love" go? It's a pity that relationships could shell out too much pressure that one can barely give himself/herself that much-wanted "lone time". When your single, you are your own schedule. Take advantage of the time and make the most of it.

Freedom and independence are now in front of your doorsteps.

• You're absolutely accounted to no one! You don't have to consult one's approval! Yahoo! Being single allows one to be his/her own complete self. Who cares if you wear that big, old, tacky t-shirt while placing your leg on the chair and eating your food sloppily with your bare hands? Sure, you can now make your own choices. You can now pursue all the "what-ifs" and just go with the flow. Remember, spontaneity is lovely!

More time for your friends and having a larger circle.

• Though it's fun hanging out with 'that' person, you can never deny that you kinda miss the feeling of being in a big group. Of course when you're attached, you have lesser time to be with your barkada and eventually you're being left-out with the what's-ins and what's-nots in the group. Plus, you can also socialize more with no partners getting jealous. You're congenial hormones will thank you for waking them up from their deep slumber.

Love and think about yourself.

• Those emotional roller-coaster rides you've felt from past relationships will bring changes in you. Now that you're single, you'll have the time to stabilize those emotions.You'll now have the chance to become aware of what you are. You need not to compromise with that person 'coz you can do what you want, all the best for your precious self. Singlehood will help you recognize yourself better. You'll learn to love yourself.... MORE! =)

ON BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP...

If there's instant coffee, there's an instant best friend.

• Friendship is the solid foundation for every relationship. Being in a healthy friendship with your boyfriend or girlfriend is an advantage, having him/her as your best friend is a perfect plus. He/she can be your immediate confidante, your guidance counselor, your best cheerleader, your avid supporter, what else? If you've got that perfect mix of friendship, he/she will never leave you hanging on the line. Just call out his/her name, that person will answer.

Someone to share Valentine's Day with.

• Actually, it isn't only Valentines Day but any other special occasions. Take for example, you need not to make yourself gaga on searching the corners of the universe for the perfect prom partner. You don't have to boggle your mind on whom to bring to that lovely Yule Ball (HP? Haha.). 'Coz there's that someone who's more than willing enough to volunteer. Moreover, having that someone will ease that discomfort you have in social gatherings. Luckily, he/she's there to talk to you and make you feel relaxed while waiting for that event to end. Surely, you'd like to hear that person sing this Michael Jackson ballad, "You are not alone, I am here with you." =)

An excuse to be in a full hopeless romantic mode.

• If not everyone, then most people adore watching romantic comedies and bask themselves under the same sun of romance. But seeing those actors and actresses in their most cheesy state will make your toes curl. Cheesiness can be disgusting at times. However, if you have someone who will reciprocate that dose of "cheesiness", then there's no problemo! When one's in love, he/she can be in full-blown hopeless romantic manner, you have the perfect excuse to be cheesy and all. One would love to see those romantic situations happen in real life and making the person you love feel ecstatic is all worth it.

One embraces maturity and growth as a person.

That blissful feeling called LOVE.

They say, love becomes more meaningful when you have someone to share it with. Being in a relationship is the key to that dictum. Relationship is about inspiring each other and maintaining that zeal of love at its best state. It's about supporting each other by bringing out the better versions of yourselves. Love brings out the best qualities of the individuals who are sharing it, lovers coexist without overshadowing one another. If you're in a relationship, just savor the moment and never ask for it to end.

The funny thing is that whenever one's single he/she wishes to be in a relationship in order to cure that loneliness he/she feels. BUT if he's/she's already taken, that person would want to have his/her old life back where he/she could just be wild and free. There goes the irony of it.

In a relationship spectrum, single and being taken are just different like how red and violet are on the opposite ends of the rainbow. Both have established their advantages and it's up for you readers to decide.

Well at the moment, I’m very much single. Though I'm open to the possibility of being in a relationship. Either way, being single or in a relationship isn't an issue for me. But how about you, is it better to fly solo or be in a commitment? I'll leave that to your heads now. :)